Monday, December 28, 2009

public transport to HELL

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Public transport has become a common means to commute for an Indian, specially the buses. These 4 wheeler cuboidal vehicles are found stuffed with people. Their doors and windows clanging together produce the music during the adventurous ride along with the driver's "favourites" playing full volume on the stereo system on board.

I recently had an experience of the most adventurous vehicle on indian roads.
The journey started from my home-town bus stop on a nice chilly morning. The man in khaki standing outside the  bus was shouting his guts off, calling out to travellers. As I approached him, he pushed me inside the bus without even listening to my destination. For an instance, I had a feeling I was being kidnapped..!!

The 7 hour journey made me realize every possible human emotion i could ever have. Most of it was full of frustration and anger but every feeling made its appearance, some even made their debut..!!

It started with the long wait for the bus to start off....
Probably the bus driver did not share the enthusiasm with which the bus conductor pushed me into the bus. The urgency with which I was ushered into the bus made me feel like I was boarding Noah's ark and that the world was about to end. But probably Noah (i mean the bus driver ;-) ) was busy at some tea stall sipping tea.

Well,
To start with, my anxiety level was building up waiting for the driver door to open and the driver to get seated. Steadily, as I waited for which seemed like eternity, I reached to the peak of my emotions where i could no longer stay seated in a bus that probably was going no where. Just as I was about to disembark, the door opened with a jolt and a head popped up to the driver seat. I guess from his years of experience in the field, he knew exactly when the passengers would get fed up from sitting in the bus, so that he could pop up at the right moment like a Saviour.

But, probably that wasn't the end of his little game and our misery. He seemed to enter the bus only because he was probably tired of standing near the tea stall. As, the passengers wondered what he was doing sitting idle, he started praying to the pictures of the deities he had stuck in-front of him. And only after making sure of the fact that we were anxious enough to even start a civil war did he revved up the engine to life.
The vibrating frame of the bus underneath us made our faces glow even brighter than the SUN. We felt like

               "Bus once started is half the journey travelled"

But, little did we know that it was just the start of something much more excruciating than that.

The bus had started almost 30 minutes late than the expected time. But that was not all. As soon as we hit the highway, I noticed that almost every kind of vehicle on the road was overtaking us. For a moment it occurred to me that we had stopped again but the slowly moving buildings on each side of the road kept me from jumping out of the window.

There was a noisy one year old with my co-passenger who was constantly crying out for milk, food, toys and at times for apparently no reason at all. But his crying was not the only annoying sound around me, somehow the clanging of the window panes of the bus added to the cacophony and made it even more unbearable. Just as I  thought my head would burst open and my brains would spill all over the place, the driver turned on the sound system. Like it wasn't enough already, the blaring music of the "driver's favorites" added exponentially to the crying and the clanging. I found myself searching for unconsciousness....

I have no idea for how long the cacophony continued, I guess I passed out, like most of the other passengers when I couldn't take it any longer.

When I regained my consciousness, the bus had halted in front of a food joint along the highway. My first thought was to shoot out of the bus and run for my life. I somehow, suppressed my instincts and got down slowly just to check out the place.

It was a nice place to eat and drink with a few shops for gifts and stationery and an ATM. After all I had just gone through, this place seemed to me like an "oasis" in a desert.
But like all good things have to come to an end, the conductor's whistle marked an end of my stay in this "oasis". I was supposed to embark the same dreaded vehicle again. I got on board again like I was on a suicidal mission......

The clanging started again but to my relief, the child seemed to enjoy his ride now and even the driver seemed to be in no mood for the "music". I had almost tuned myself into the clanging by now so it didn't bother me anymore. Now that I felt out of danger, I was worried bout reaching my destination on time. I started planning the rest of my day.

I was still lost in thought when a strange high pitched sound made me jump like a young bronco coming out of a chute for the first time. The bus had entered a city and the sound was that of a "bus to bus salesman". He was apparently selling some multi-utility, easy to use, juicer. His way of describing the product and giving out promises like it was the best season's sale ever was typical. After him, more of similar kind boarded the bus with products and promises and each one of them had the similar tone to their voice. It was almost like a hallmark. The range of products they came with was almost as impressive as their promises.


It was almost 6 hours since I had boarded the bus and I had completely lost track of time ( even if I ever had any ). The bus driver seemed to not care for the small watch on his console at all and probably thats why it showed no movement now. That stopped watch somehow seemed metaphorical to me.


As we moved on I wondered if the world outside was still the same as I had left it when I decided to undertake this ride. I hopelessly prayed that time had stopped there too. My associate who was supposed to meet me at the other end was getting worried and restless as the watch showed an hour of delay and still no sign of me. Soon, my cell phone began to ring furiously as I received a rather annoyed and worried call from the other side. I helplessly explained my plight which was almost immediately considered but was never acknowledged. I was continuously tortured by frantic calls every 15 minutes telling me to hurry up (like it was in my hands...).

My anger level rose with each call and I was angry at almost everything in sight. Everything seemed to mess up my trip and ultimately my entire day. Our cursed vehicle of HELL reached about an hour and a half late with tired and somewhat frightened passengers swearing never to ride a bus again in their entire life span on this planet.

As for me, after this long and tiresome journey that seemed to almost last a few lifetimes, I finally reached my destination but with almost no spirits left to do all the stuff I had planned on my ride. I was received by a fuming person cursing almost all authorities and ultimately the government of INDIA for the delay of a bus. But I had more important things to think of right now......I was thinking of the shortest way to reach a hotel and grab a bed so that I can fall off to sleep. Somehow, I kept feeling like I would wake up shouting at some point of time and find out that it was all a nightmare but god didn't grant me that luxury....
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